I, like many other people, saw the Lord of the Rings movies. In them we learn that elves are noble ethereal creatures with incredible powers. They are also fierce warriors with total mastery of weapons such as bows and arrows.
And yet Santa Claus was able to not just conquer them but enslave them. He forces them to make toys at the North Pole, which I'm pretty sure is not the elves' natural habitat. It's a far cry from Rivendell, that's for sure. From what I hear kids in Chinese sweat shops make better wages and have better working conditions. How did this happen?
There's only one solution I see. Santa Claus is a total badass who singlehandedly whupped the entire Elvish army. Don't piss him off, man, or you might have more to worry about than coal in your stocking.
No comments:
Post a Comment