They say absolute power corrupts absolutely. The obvious implication here is that God, being all-powerful, is as corrupt as it gets. This would go a long way towards explaining why the universe is so messed up. Ever wonder why stars sometimes go supernova? Some rival solar system is giving God a payoff to take out their enemies.
But I want to talk about another sketchy operation: Santa Claus. This guy's super powerful, too. He knows when you're asleep or awake and he knows if you've been bad or good. He also has the ability to visit every house in the world in a single night. That takes some major power. And also major corruption.
Look, we all know the dude's susceptible to bribery via milk and cookies. He's also the world's major exploiter of both reindeer and elves, and not just from forcing them to work insane hours pulling sleighs on Christmas or making toys at less than poverty level wages. Where do you think he's getting all that coal from that he's putting in the stockings of bad kids? Santa's not mining it himself. And have you ever wondered why he's based out of the North Pole? Clearly for tax evasion purposes. He's also got some weird deal going on with the shopping malls where he shows up for a few hours, lets kids sit on his lap, and then takes a cut of the profits. If I tried to show up at the mall and have strange kids sit on my lap I'd get arrested. Just saying.
And don't even get me started on the Tooth Fairy. That bitch is cold.
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